My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
