and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
