I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
