i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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