I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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