Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
