Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
