I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
