he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
