she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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