question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Randomize
