I must be too annoying 4 u.
Buhtt sex?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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