how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If its not for food we ain't going out.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
