I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
