Do vagina's smell?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
