So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Randomize
