That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
