After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
