Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
