Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
