Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
