Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
