I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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