Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
My dick has a subreddit
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
