I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
My pussy is not your playground.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
