Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
