evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
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