Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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