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i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Randomize
