Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
