no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I want her autograph on my taint
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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