...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
