Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
