the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I just cut my nipple shaving
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
