i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
