he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
