I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
