The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
