I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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