Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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