She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Damn victory sex feels great
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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