I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
