i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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