she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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