I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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