Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
We are all done wearing pants today
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
