Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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