Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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