omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
