Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
