I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize