so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize