we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize