you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize