Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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