i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
