No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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