You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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