Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
