I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
cat food counts as protein by the way
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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