I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
